


Conversations in the Dark

by DramaticMarvel



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Hospitals, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-04
Updated: 2019-04-04
Packaged: 2020-01-04 13:33:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18344699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DramaticMarvel/pseuds/DramaticMarvel
Summary: Jeremy can’t sleep while in the hospital so instead he and Rich talk.





	Conversations in the Dark

“A-are you scared?” Jeremy's voice crept out of the darkness, not even sure if Rich was awake. The room had been quiet for the past half hour except for the whirl of some of the machines occasionally, mostly from Rich’s side of the room. The lights had been turned off for at least an hour and with all the sleeping he had done lately Jeremy thought for sure the trend would continue for at least a few more days, or at least he had hoped that would be the case. It turns out his insomnia didn’t really care too much about exhaustion or sleep, at least anymore than it ever did before he had a Squip to be his own mental Valium. The only downside was the Squip caused even more exhaustion than his insomnia ever did which was saying something due to all the tears he had cried trying to get himself to fall asleep when his head was being too loud in the emptiness of his room.

“Are you talking about of the dark.” Rich’s voice called back, and Jeremy if his heart racing was happiness that Rich was awake to talk with or lingering nerves reminding him this was the guy who tormented him for over a year. “I mean you can turn on a light if you want”

Jeremy was grateful for the cover of darkness to cover up what was probably a bright red face. “No I-I mean like of life without the Squip.” In his hands his fingers messed with the frayed edges of the hospital blanket hoping to distract himself from the current conversation.

“Nah...no…I mean I guess a little” Rich said, taking long pauses between each word, clearly trying to think of the most honest answer. In the past year of being tortured by Rich, Jeremy can’t remember him ever sounded as pensive as he did at this moment. “But like there’s a lot of me I missed.”

“Like what?” Jeremy asked,

“You make it sound like I was awful before.” Rich’s spat out, his lisp catching on the s sound.

“N-no I didn’t mean like that.” Jeremy said quickly. “I mean, y-you were pretty bad with the Squip but I mean I was j-just curious which parts were real.”

There was a long pause and Jeremy was starting to think Rich may have fallen back to sleep until he heard, “I like video games and doodling...I always used to doodle on my homework.” Rich said slowly, as if he was trying to think carefully. “And I had a dozen D and D books, but I mean I never played before because that required friends.” His voice trailed off as if remembering a story he didn’t want to think about

“I’ve never played before either.” Jeremy volunteered. “Maybe you could teach me.”

“Really?” Rich asked eagerly.

“Yeah could be fun.” And to his surprise, it did sound kind of fun. He had never really had any desire to play but people talked highly of it. Plus, it seemed to make Rich happy which Jeremy was surprised to find also made Jeremy a little happy. It wasn’t happy in the way pleasing people made him feel with the Squip, like he was was just adding a notch in his belt. No, this was more like the way he felt when he made Michael smile, like he was back in first grade getting a star for being something.

“Think Headphones would be willing to join us?” Jeremy rolled his eyes at the nickname on impulse.

“Maybe? You can ask him if you want?”

There was a snort on the other side of the room. “Aren’t you two pretty much married enough to speak for the other?”

“Pretty sure I fucked that up incredibly with this whole mess.” He sighed, gesturing to the room, even though Rich couldn’t see. “I can’t believe he can even look at me anymore.” Hell, Jeremy could barely look at himself anymore. Not that it was a new feeling for him, he had spent the past few years looking in the mirror and seeing every flaw that the Squip saw. Not strong enough, not funny enough, not brave enough, not enough...

“Dude I wish I had someone to look at me the way he looks at you.” Rich said firmly, bringing Jeremy out of his thoughts.

“I left him alone. I called him a loser.” Jeremy spat each word sounding more pained than the last. Even with Michael here, he could barely look at him without thinking those words. “I’m sure once he knows I’ll be okay he’ll be gone...I can’t even blame him.” He had one friend before the Squip, gained some friends, and now he was going to end it all alone. Not that he didn’t deserve to be alone.

“Hey, that’s nothing.” Rich said optimistically and Jeremy couldn’t tell if he was happy Rich was trying or sad that Rich had to try. “I burnt down my best friends house and caused him to break both his legs and holy shit!” The last part was shouted from the otherside of the room and caused Jeremy to jump.

Jeremy looked around, panicked. “W-what?” His mind was thinking every awful thing that could have happened.

There was a small moment of silence until he heard Rich squeak out, “Come over here and hug me.” In quick rambled words, his lisp standing out.

“What?” Jeremy asked, unsure of anything that Rich had just asked.

“Just do it.” Rich demanded, though he sounded shaky which had Jeremy climbing out of his bed. Reaching out, Jeremy steadied himself against the frame of the bed feeling his legs go weak under him. It wasn’t the first time today he’d cursed the Squip and most likely wouldn’t be the last, but it was at least nice to blame it for taking his energy rather than everything Jeremy loved. Still, Jeremy reached out and clung to the wall as a support as he shimmied along the wall until he was close enough to fall forward and land against Rich’s bed.

While he thought the biggest problem would be getting over to Rich’s bed without landing face front on the floor, now that he was here he realized this was the easy part. “How do I do this without hurting you?” He asked, eyeing Rich up and down at all the bandages wrapped around him.

Now that he was closer, he could see Rich crack a smile of that for some reason as he spread his arms to the side just slightly. “Just go right here.” He said nodding to the space on his chest.

“Okay.” Jeremy said as he carefully climbed onto the bed as slow as possible. Slowly he lowered himself onto Rich’s chest until the were flush against each other. When it didn’t seem like Rich was in pain, or going to find someone way to bring him into the bathroom and give him a swirly, Jeremy wrapped his arms around Rich as carefully as he could and rested his head on his shoulder. “So not that I don’t mind hugging you but why am I doing this?”

From under him, Jeremy could feel him take a deep breath. “You have to promise not to tell anyone. Except Headphones…you two seem married enough that you share anything.”

“Were not anything but yeah I promise.”

Rich let out an exaggerated groan. “I just realized I’m in love with Jake.”

“Wow.” Jeremy paused, “Fuck.”

“Yeah.”

“Is he-,” Jeremy hesitated, “you know.”

“Pan.”

“Well, then you have a chance.” Jeremy said encouraging wishing Michael was here. He was so much better at the whole comforting thing.

“I burnt down his house.” Rich said, each words more and more weighted down.

Yeah that’s not really a good start to a relationship.” Jeremy nuzzled down into Rich’s shoulder softly, letting his hair brush against Rich’s chin hoping that it was at least slightly comforting to know he was there.“

It seemed to work because he felt Rich rest his chin against Jeremy’s head. “Wanna sleep here tonight or would Headphones be jealous?”

Jeremy let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding in. If someone had told him back in August that he would be happy to share a bed, he would wonder what strain of pot Michael had got and if he could get some more. “People help my insomnia. And for the last time Michael and I are just friends.” Not to mention Michael was very familiar with his insomnia, having to deal quite often with a sleep deprived Jeremy.

“But you wish you were more than friends.” Jeremy felt himself tense up as he closed his eyes. “I mean come on I just told you I’m in love with Jake. I don’t even have anyone to tell.” Rich said with a kindness Jeremy didn’t think was possible from a guy who used to shove him into toilets.

“Michael is the best person I know.” Jeremy explained carefully, his eyes closed focusing on each word as he waited for Rich to start laughing. When he didn’t he added, “I realized a long time ago I could never be good enough for him.”

“That’s bullshit.” Rich exclaimed loudly causing Jeremy to wince.

“It’s true.” Jeremy said simply with a small shrug of his shoulder.. “I mean I accepted it long ago so it doesn’t really matter anymore.”

Jeremy could feel Rich attempt to move his arms to wrap around him just slightly despite all the bandages. “It matters to me.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re my friend.” Rich explained as if it was the most obviously thing in the world.

“Really?” He couldn’t seem to keep the disbelief out of his voice.

“What you don’t want to be my friend?” Despite the confidence of the words, Jeremy could here the hurt in his voice. Jeremy was a master of knowing that crack in the words.

“N-no! No I mean it's just weird to be friends with someone who tortured you. Like I look at you and see the guy who shoved me into closets,” Jeremy explained quickly, fumbling over his words “B-but listening to you talk? It’s nice.”

That seemed to be the right thing to say because he felt Rich nuzzle the top of his head. “Yeah well if anyone tries to shove you in a closet now they’ll have to listen to me.”

“Thanks.” Jeremy said with a laugh, tightening his arms around Rich I’m glad I’m friends with you...the real you that is.”

“Stop being sentimental and go to sleep.” Rich laughed, nudging Jeremy with his chin but he could almost feel the smile on Rich’s face. Jeremy thought about moving away from Rich’s chest, but he figured if Rich didn’t tell him to move, it was fine with him. And if it wasn’t, closing his eyes for a few moments wouldn’t kill them.

* * *

 

“Where’s Jeremy?” Michael asked slightly alarmed at the empty bed that greeted him as he walked into the room holding a tray of brightly colored drinks

“Michael?” Jeremy said, his head poking out from under the pile of blankets on Rich’s bed. His hair seemed to curl in every single direction as he blinked owlishly at his best friend. “What are you doing here, aren’t you supposed to be at school?”

“And you’re supposed to be in your own bed.” Michael responded, his eyebrow raised. While Jeremy wasn’t sure, he was pretty sure that if Michael wasn’t holding a tray of drinks he would have his hands on his on his hip. Though there was another look in his eye, something dark that Jeremy couldn’t quite grasp, at least not this early in the morning and without loads of coffee with lots of sugar.

“Insomnia.” Jeremy said plainly with a slight shrug.

With that all of the judgement flooded from Michael’s face, after all the times he came to pick Jeremy up in the morning to find him crying in a closet about just wanting to sleep he knew how bad it could get. “Shit really? I thought the whole exhaustion thing would have covered it. You should have called a nurse.”

“Didn’t really feel like doing drugs.” Jeremy said grimly causing Michael to wince/

“Plus I’m a great cuddler.” Rich piped in happily, dropping his head on top of Jeremy’s who just snorted without looking up.

Michael paused a moment, staring right at the two of them with a small head tilt. “Right well I brought breakfast.” Michael explained, holding up the tray of brightly colored drinks. “Figured you’re picky and would end up not eating so I brought you a smoothie from that place you like. Got you one too Rich.”

“Man you’re amazing.” Rich said, “Like seriously. You know my penis isn’t burnt right?”

Jeremy turned bright red at that comment however Michael just blinked. “I did not. But I don’t think I needed to know that.” He turned to Jeremy, setting the drinks on the nightstand next to Rich’s bed and offering his arm out to Jeremy. “Now I think you should get back to your own bed.”

“Thanks Michael.” Jeremy said, allowing Michael to help grabbing his elbow and guiding him out of the bed. Jeremy moved, wrapping himself around Michael who slowly guided him across the room in a half hug. “You know you’re my favorite person.” Jeremy added sincerely as he sat back down on the bed.

“That’s really gay.” Rich pointed out.

“Keep it up Rich and you’re not going to get anymore treats.” Michael scolded as he walked back to grab the drinks, but still held one out to Rich before taking the other back to Jeremy.

“Seriously though, you’re way too good for me.” Jeremy said, taking a long sip from his smoothie. He hadn’t realized how long it had been that he had something that wasn’t a stupid protein shake the Squip insisted he drink or the awful hospital replacement food.

“I know.” Michael said, pleased. “I also know you’d die without me.”

“That’s true.” Jeremy agreed with a smile, which made Michael laugh. A warmth spread through his chest.

Michael looked at his phone and gave a quick swear. “I have to get to class, I already missed first period. But text me if you need me. For whatever reason. Oh wait you don’t have a phone. Call your dad to text me. Or just call me, I’ll put my phone on vibrate, detention be damned. I got sneak level 100, I can get out of that.” He struck a video game style pose which name Jeremy laugh.

“Okay. You’re the best” Jeremy agreed knowing full well Michael probably would drop everything if Michael asked, which is why he wouldn’t do that.

“You know it.” Michael said, leaning in and giving Jeremy a quick kiss on the forehead.

“Give Jake a smack on the ass for me.” Rich requested.

Michael paused in the doorway. “I will not be doing that.” He said with a laugh giving Jeremy one last smile before retreating down the hall.

“Damn.” Rich groaned leaning back on the bed.

**Author's Note:**

> Ask box open [here](http://dramaticwrites.tumblr.com/ask).


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